


all of my love to you

by NINETYONECAS



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Castiel and Dean Winchester Reunion in Heaven, Dean Winchester in Heaven, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, First Kiss, Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, bc the finale sucked, just cute happy things to get over all the angst, this is literally just what deancas is up to in heaven
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:35:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27842365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NINETYONECAS/pseuds/NINETYONECAS
Summary: what I think Dean and Cas are up to in Heaven since they obviously went and found each other after the events of 15x20. just lots of fluff because none of us need anymore angst right now. title from all my love by led zeppelin.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 36





	1. 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hii so i don't ever write any fics so this is probably going to not be the best so i apologize in advance for any mistakes
> 
> follow me on twitter @WlLLGR4HAM <3

_“Cas helped. Cas helped. Cas helped. ”_ he kept repeating in his head as he drove down the seemingly never-ending road.

_That stupid son of a bitch was alive._

Dean wanted to see him. He really did. He just didn’t know how to find him or what to say or if the angel would even want to see him. So he just kept driving, Led Zeppelin in the background, hoping that maybe Cas would just show up in the passenger seat like he used to.

He wasn’t sure how long he drove, taking in the sight of Heaven around him, even making a quick pit-stop to see Charlie, Ash, Jo, and Ellen. As much as he loved seeing them again, he still didn’t feel complete. He knew something was missing and he knew what it was.

_“Cas? I don’t know if you can hear me, or if you are even an angel anymore, man I don’t even know if you are still in Heaven. But um,-” he doesn’t even know what to say. What do you say to someone who died to save you and then you end up dying not even two weeks later from a fucking nail?_

_“I’m in Heaven now. Went out on a hunt, can you believe that? Guess I always knew it would happen one day. I’m sorry man, I don’t know what I’m doing. Well, I heard you and Jack are in charge up here now, making people’s heavens or whatever. Mine’s almost perfect dude, it’s just missing one thing. I don’t know where you are but I wa- I need to see you Cas.”_

Dean didn’t know when he had started crying, but by the end of his prayer his face was wet with tears and his chest felt tight with pain.

“Hello Dean.”

Dean hadn’t turned around yet and didn’t know if he was ready to yet. Dean struggled to find the right words to tell his angel because it seemed as if no words would be able to explain how he felt.

“I heard your prayer Dean, I can go if now is not a good time-”

“Shut up,” Dean whispers, yet yells at the same time.

“What?”, Dean is staring at the ground, but he can tell Cas is taken aback. 

“Shut up dude. You don’t get to do that,” he says, finally turning around to face Cas, “ you don’t get to just tell someone you- you are in love with them and go die like that. It’s a hell of a way to say goodbye Cas.”

Dean never thought he would see his best friend again. He doesn’t know what to even do but stare at Cas. Still in his stupid trenchcoat and stupid messy hair and Cas just stares at him for a second with his sad blue eyes, confused, and God, Dean is so in love.

“ It wasn’t my intention to make you uncomfortable Dean, I figured we would never see each other again and it was the only way to summon the Empty, the only way to save you.”

“Uncomforta- You’re worried you made me uncomfortable?,” Dean says, almost laughing in disbelief.

Cas just tilts his head in confusion before he can get in another word.

“You could have had it you know,” Dean says softly, “You said the one thing you wanted was something you knew you couldn’t have, but you can Cas. You can still have it, if you want to of course”

“Dean-” Cas tries to respond, but Dean just continues.

“You didn’t even let me say it back you dumbass. You just went and got sucked away and you didn’t even know I love you too.” _He said it. He finally had said it._

Dean finally met eyes with Cas again, and Cas had the smallest of smiles on his face and Dean was wondering why he never said these words before while they were both still alive.

“Do you wanna go for a drive?” Cas says, still smiling.

“Yeah, yeah, that sounds nice.”

They hold hands all the way to the car. And Dean realizes he could do this forever.

_This is it, Dean thinks. This really is Heaven._


	2. 2.

They didn’t kiss immediately. 

They took things slow. Extremely slow, but Dean or Cas minded. After all, they had eternity together. 

The first thing they did was drive and somehow they arrived at a cabin on a lake. The whole way there, they listened to the mixtape Dean had given Cas all those years ago. Dean was shocked at first when Cas pulled it out of his trenchcoat. 

“You kept that old thing all this time?,” he joked. 

“Yes, it made me think of you. “ he said, almost embarrassed to admit it. 

Dean felt his face heat up. He wasn’t used to this. It felt weird he could be like this with Cas now, after all the years of holding it in. Weird but perfect. 

“ So uh what’s your favorite?” Dean asked. 

  
Cas cracked a guilty smile before the mixtape reached the last song, “This one,”

“You’re kidding.” It was the Taylor Swift song that Dean had put on there, almost as a joke (but not really. What can he say, Taylor grew on him over the years.” 

_ And you stood there in front of me just _

_ Close enough to touch _

_ Close enough to hope you couldn't see _

_ What I was thinking of _ __

“ What? I like Taylor Swift, “ Cas said, giving Dean a knowing look. 

_ Drop everything now _

_ Meet me in the pouring rain _

_ Kiss me on the sidewalk _

_ Take away the pain _

_ 'Cause I see, sparks fly, whenever you smile _

_ Get me with those green eyes, baby _

_ As the lights go down _

_ Gimme something that'll haunt me whenever you're not around _

_ 'Cause I see, sparks fly, when you smile _

Dean was laughing and he didn’t think he had ever felt this happy and content.

_ “ _ I love you so much Cas” He could say those words forever. 

“I love you too, Dean”. And he would never get tired of hearing those words.

The cabin that Cas had made for Dean in his heaven, as he later revealed, was perfect. It was small, especially in comparison to the bunker, but had everything Dean would ever need. Including Miracle. 

“I watched you after I died,” Cas explained, “I didn’t think you liked dogs though.” 

“Yeah, well things change I guess, “ Dean smiled at Cas, while petting Miracle. 

...

That night is when they kissed. Time passed differently in Heaven, but somehow it became dark outside and the moon and the stars came out. 

They had sat on the couch, cuddling, with Miracle nuzzled somewhere in between them of course. Cas had intently watched the entire movie, while Dean had spent most of the movie just staring at Cas. The whole domestic life was new to both of them, but on the couch with Cas, he felt like he could finally exhale for the first time in years, hell maybe even decades. The movie finished, and Miracle had fallen fast asleep between them. 

“When did you know?” Dean blurted. 

“When did I know what? “ 

“That you loved me. Or were in love with me.” 

“Oh-” Cas looked surprised they were talking about this “I guess I began to understand what I was feeling when I became human. But I started falling in love from the moment I pulled you out of Hell.”

“Damn, you loved me for that long and didn’t tell me?”

“I didn’t think you would ever love me back, Dean. Or at least not in my male vessel.”

_ Oh. _

“I guess we were just a couple of dumbasses then huh?” 

“When did you?” Cas asked. 

“When did I love you?” 

Cas nodded.

“Uh,” he hadn’t really thought about it before. When did he start thinking of Cas as more than a friend? More than just family?, “I think Purgatory and um when you- when Lucifer killed you.” Dean didn’t like to think of Cas dead. 

“It made me realize I couldn’t live without you, “ Dean continued, “and that I didn’t want to either.” 

During the movie, they had moved almost on top of each other. Their legs pressing against one another, Cas still wearing his coat. 

“Dean?”

“Hm?”

“Can I kiss you?” 

“Yeah, yeah you can” Dean whispers, their faces now facing each other. 

Cas leans forward and presses his lips to Dean. The kiss is desperate, but not in a sexual, “I need more” sort of way, but they were kissing like it might be the last time they could. They were kissing like they had been waiting forever, which they had. It was messy and confusing and Cas wasn’t that experienced in kissing, but it was the best kissing that Dean had ever experienced. 

Dean pulled back first and looked at Cas. His hair was messy and his trenchcoat was now half off, and he was smiling and looking at Dean as if he was his world. 

“I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time Cas,” Dean said as he rested his forehead on Cas’s.

“Yeah, me too.” Cas responds, leaning in again. 


	3. 3.

Cas starts a garden. And he insists on keeping bees. 

Dean asks if gardening is even necessary in Heaven, “ _ Can’t you just snap your fingers or whatever and make whatever you want appear?”  _

Cas told him that the point wasn’t what came out of the garden, but all of the caring and love that went into it.  _ That soft son of a bitch, Dean thought to himself.  _

Cas would come in covered in dirt most days, his hair falling into his eyes, and smelling like shit. Dean would never admit it but he still looked adorable. 

Every morning (or what seemed like morning to Dean, he still wasn’t sure how much time had passed or how things worked) Dean would take Miracle for a walk and sometimes take a ride in Baby. 

Most mornings Dean would wake in Cas’ arms to see him counting his freckles. He claims he still doesn’t know the exact count. 

Dean still has nightmares. Even in Heaven, they haven’t stopped, just became more infrequent. He dreams of the Empty enveloping Cas in the room in the Bunker, the broken sobs that left his body afterwards. He normally wakes up crying. Cas just pulls him tighter and while half-asleep, mumbles words into his ear. Cas doesn’t ask Dean any questions. Dean assumes Cas already knows. 

Each night and every morning, they fall into a routine. 

Dean often questions why Cas stays with him. Why Cas now sleeps. Why Cas now eats. Cas says that Heaven can be whatever you make of it. He explains that if he could choose anywhere to be, he would always choose to be with Dean. Apparently no one in Heaven needs sleep, but if you want to sleep, you can. Cas says he now can taste food. 

Dean doesn’t understand why Cas would choose to be with him. He’s an angel after all. He could be on Earth, with people who are actually alive. He could have so much more than Dean. Dean doesn’t tell Cas this, but he is terrified of his angel leaving, just like everyone else has left Dean before. 

The first day that Cas has to go help Jack with his “Heavenly duties”, Dean panics, but Cas reassures Dean with a kiss that he will be back that night, “ _ I’m not going anywhere my love. I promise.” _

_ “I know, I know, I just worry babe. I love you.”  _

_ “I love you too Dean.”  _ And then he is gone.

Of course, like always, Cas keeps his promise. 


End file.
